Today was awful.

I had such a “body issue” day. I’ve been uncomfortable in my clothes, nothing is fitting properly anymore and I just felt gross. It’s surprising how much something like that can put a damper on your day, I was so grouchy and emotional. I’m fairly certain that I cried at least 4 times.

Have any of you ever dealt with this? Please tell me I’m not crazy, lol.

I don’t know if I can do this.

Current

I’ve tried numerous times in the past to keep a diary of sorts to keep track of my food intake as well as my weight loss. Now that I’ve lost 4 pounds and have been focusing on healthier foods, I feel that now would be the best time to actually do this. Above is a picture I’ve attached of what I look like now. Unfortunately you can only see my upper body, but at this point that’s all I’m willing to show.

I know a few things about myself already: I love sugar, I eat late at night, I starve myself during the day, I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and I have a hard time sticking with things. Because of the IBS, it’s hard for me to eat foods that I love because they give me such grief. I shouldn’t eat things such as eggs, grilled cheese, chicken, pasta, rice, etc. but I do, because I love those foods and to be honest, no matter what I eat I end up in serious pain. Why sacrifice the things I love when it doesn’t make me feel any better than before?

When I say I love sugar I don’t mean candies, I mean pop. Pop is one of my biggest addictions, I need it. I have had a very hard time doing so, but I have cut down my pop intake by at least half over the last 4 months or so (Although, I am currently sipping on a Coke).

So, the whole point of this little blog here is just for me to keep track of what I’m eating and how much weight I have gained/lost. I use myfitnesspal.com to keep track of my calories and how much I am burning at the gym, but I wanted a place to express my fears and accomplishments. Thank god for blogging!

 

* Today! I actually RAN today. For the first time in, I don’t even know how long! I only ran two laps around the running track at my gym, which is about 800m, but still! I FEEL FABULOUS!

 

 

Starting Weight: 290
Current Weight: 284